clarity and peace

when the water gets murky, everything gets coloured by it.

if our environment becomes coloured by undercurrents, for whatever reasons, it lends meaning to everything that transpires. and then comes the analysis-paralysis, which in turn starts impacting the inner state of peace. and life state. and joy.

i feel this now.

so, to regain my peace and reclaim my joy, it's time for me to go inwards. step back. watch things in a detached way, like an observer. accept what is. and, completely let go of expectations.

a part of that effort is me being here right now, enveloped in the comfort of kayinaat, who doesn't judge, who listens patiently as i pour my thoughts and feelings, who is ever so loving and accepting.

well, that last phrase made me smile. it reminded me of ootpatang, my adorable canine child. on days like this, i walk around the block, find ootu, and give him a hug, even if he is more interested in jumping or lazing. and he always manages to make me smile.

speaking of which, a canine child did make me smile this evening. this stray baby is injured and dealing with a difficult condition. i happened to find him just this week. meek little thing was initially surprised that i was not a threat, and actually might be friendly. now he meets me joyfully, without any complaints about his physical discomfort. these canines teach us so much. always.

one year on..

unbelievable, but i am returning to kayinaat after an entire year. the thought with which i have come to kayinaat today is this - "happiness is about peace of mind. period."

i realize i am picking up where i left off. i've always found that reading my previous posts gives me strength and courage, especially every time i hit a low. for me, coming to kayinaat, reading what i wrote, penning my thoughts, is the same as going inwards to centre myself.

the last sentence i wrote on kayinaat a year ago is exactly what i needed to read right now.
"When we pray for everyone's happiness, especially those causing us pain, it gives us courage to accept the situation, if not correct it – leading to peace of mind. Faith wins!"

i know this. i believe in it. but i needed to hear it again. feel it again. renew my faith again. resolve again. especially so, on a day like today.

to feeling joyful once again..