my pain is my destiny and i can't avoid it..

..said amitji in one of his movies, i think kala patthar.
interesting way of looking at pain, and probably a good way to deal with it. i too need to find my own ways to deal with pain, and to move beyond it, above it.. coz things become okay if they have to, and if they don't they simply don't. time heals in most cases, but in some cases wounds just fester and rot and cause more pain and create more to deal with, not less.
it is a new year, a new beginning. life teaches us lessons and we learn and grow and evolve. we discontinue some things and continue others. we repeat some behaviours and discontinue others. some things change, some just don't. and at times, one realizes that we are being baselessly, hopelessly optimistic.
enough is enough. and i am sure of that. i got to stop this. it's been a really long time. my pain and my joy is my own is something i have to accept, however hard it may be. i need to appreciate what is good in my life, and not expect the unexpected endlessly. i just have to move on, and now is the time. i refuse to go on like this. and if dignified silence is the way i wish to choose, it will be that from now on.
i choose 2007 as a new chapter in my life, where i will define what i wish to do, how i want to spend my time, where i will change my attitude towards myself and others and life at large, where i will not cling to the dreams i have dreamt for the last decade, where i will accept reality for whatever it is, where i will take a few decisions and a few risks that i have not considered as practical in the past. hopefully, at the end of the year i would be a more wholesome individual who can look beyond my own pain and joy, and can start contributing in a different way...

i hope to make peace with life in 2007.