al-anon 5 - step 3

"made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of god as we understood him"

yesterday's meeting was more a one-on-one with one of the members. it is a small group, and somehow the others could not make it yesterday. it was still good though. the sharing was more detailed. i shared how just in the last meeting i had spoken about the fact that although i have always had faith (it has had its highs n lows though), and i have always been thankful for what i have been blessed with, presently i feel i have to get all my decisions validated, i am unsure of what i should do, i don't seem to get a message, a sign, that i look for, that guides me.. and that i need to fine tune that connection with my higher power. between that meeting and this, in a matter of just one week, i have personally felt i got the right thoughts and guidance on more than one occasion during this week. it is almost like we need to quieten (if there is such a word) ourselves enough to hear the (inner) voice above the din we surround ourselves with. i also shared how i hit my rock bottom four and a half months ago.. where i found it hard to function, i broke down several times everyday, i had to speak endlessly with the counsellor and the aa members who were all willing to help to quieten the turmoil, to lessen the restlessness, to deal with the feeling of complete loss that i experienced in the first couple of months. and now when i look back, it seems the progress i have made is significant, it is no less than a miracle. so indeed, if i can detach myself enough and go with the flow, and let my higher power take care of me, i can rest assured i will be taken care of. the other member shared an interesting example yesterday.. she said it's like we insist on carrying a large heavy bag on our shoulders when on a train. if we would just trust enough to let the bag down, the train will carry it for us. interesting indeed..:)