deluge of thots..

sabbatical or no, i am not one who's going to sit down.. i have too much life in me for that.

but what i do think i must do is shift gears. i feel what i have done so far has stopped fulfilling me and its time for me to take a break from the rigmarole and recognize the one thing i want to do most. something that i would love to do and would also get paid for. right now i feel life is passing me by as i spend my time going to work, working (read coordinating in the name of training), and getting back. and that's alarming. coz there is so much i think i want to do.

again is 'slowing down' possible vs a 6-month sabbatical? i think i've already done that a bit, to whatever extent possible, but i feel i need a bigger change. i have started to feel that maybe without worrying about how my bills will get paid, i allow myself to live out of the little money i have for 6 months, get away for once from the constant cycle of 9 to 5(read 9), dabble with everything i have been wanting to do and denying myself for paucity of time, be it pottery or traveling or learning salsa, and then judge what i want..

i need that defining moment in life where my focus would become crystal clear to me in that one magical instant - wish the cosmos would grant me with one.