it's another time, another day

"it's another time, another day" ...so well said by abba.

but somehow despite everyone including myself echoing similar words to me, i am unable to change my attitude from within. i am unable to shrug off the dull, sad, bitter feeling that has swept into me since the last few months. the intent to be happy is there, and also the resolve. but i am unable to internalize it, feel it from within, i need what we call 'a turning point', 'a defining moment' to be able to change the tide and ride towards happy times, or rather in starting to feel happy..
Though I do feel justified deep within about the fact that there is no relief presently on any front - home, work, marriage, and there is nothing in my life outside of these. But who chose that - I did I am sure. Why don't I "get a life" - chase a few dreams, watch movies and plays, join dance classes or kickboxing or start gymming, visit orphanages, attend spiritual lectures, buy plants from nurseries and do up my backyard. Come to think of it, there are plenty things I could feel happy about if I wanted to, and there is plenty more I could start doing that I am not doing presently.
So I am unhappy. Fact. I want to be happy. Intent. I got to take control of my life and be fair to myself and do things that would make me happy. The moment I do that my expectations from my work and relationships should reduce, and that should help contain the disappointment that expectations bring. Most important, I have to stop seeking happiness from work. I need to learn work is part of my life, not my life, and that I need to give it just that much importance - I give it too much presently!

O God, help me internalize these thoughts, and help me attain peace of mind and calmness.