crossroads

haven't we all felt, at some point in our lives, that we are at crossroads of some sort. a point in life where we have to make decisions in the view of new realities - physical, emotional, financial, spiritual. how we respond to these crossroads often define the next course of our journey. and hence, they are referred to as defining moments of our lives when we look back at life a few years later.

a bit like I feel right now.

today as I sit and write this, I feel that if I could, I would just take care of myself in a holistic way.. to just allow myself to be as I heal. once ready to travel, I would want to visit places I have been wanting to visit for a long time with the purpose of pursuing my spiritual journey.. and when I feel more healed and ready, to start on giving back what I have received.

the catch in this entire line of thinking is 'if I could'. isn't that the biggest limiting factor that we ourselves place in the way of our progress. we feel like we do not have a choice. but we know that actually we always have a choice - something we admit in hindsight when we are wiser, thanks to our experiences that help us imbibe and truly internalize life's precious lessons.

having reminded myself of this universal truth, I realize that deep down I do believe that I have a choice, even when a lot suddenly seems to be limiting my options currently. right now for me, it is about retaining my sanity and peace of mind at any cost. I know the price I have to pay if I don't. hence, that is not a choice.:)

today, I make a choice to stay sane, regardless of however impossible reality may seem.
I make a choice to heal myself, and to become ready to pursue my calling.